but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize