I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
