Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
When are your genitals available?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
