Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
