her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
