i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
