Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
