East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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