i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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