great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
