She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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