really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
