well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
