I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
sex in a hospital.. check
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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