I heard we made out
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
