More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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