Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
