Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
