he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
