First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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