He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
