sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
