My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
