I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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