I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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