rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
