I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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