It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
