piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
