im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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