do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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