I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
