I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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