I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We are all done wearing pants today
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
