Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
