Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
