Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
