3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
