My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
