i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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