So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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