If that was your dad, he is hot
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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