How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
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