She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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