I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
