Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
