No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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