And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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