I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
