I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
