She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
