My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
