Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
